Feeding schedule logs in the hospital with a newborn baby. Lavender baths, followed by story time, and then a kiss before bed. After-school snacks, followed by homework, and then dance or sports practice. Yes, modern parents have read the books and blogs all about the importance and benefits of routines. But guess what? Children also need time for open-ended, unstructured, joyful, pure PLAY. In fact, the lack of unscheduled time for kids to be kids is such a prominent course of discussion that the phenomena has been given its own terminology: “The Play Gap.” And parents are starting to fight back against the overstructured routines!
Louisiana Children’s Museum’s Chief Learning Officer, Dr. Shannon Blady, turns to Fred Rogers for a meaningful quote on childhood play: “Play is often talked about as if it were a relief from serious learning. But for children, play is serious learning. Play is really the work of childhood.” Dr. Blady explains that the “Mr. Rogers quote highlights how play allows for serious learning, but within a less-structured setting. Among other concepts, play teaches negotiation, problem-solving, and critical thinking. We also know that we should provide opportunities for unstructured play- the kind in which children make up their own games, their own rules and parameters- on the playground, in the neighborhood.” Mr. Rogers and Dr. Blady are correct in their assertions that play is imperative, so let’s look into what is causing the decrease in play and the effects of overstructuring before investigating the ultimate tool to combat this recent play gap phenomena: play!
Causes of the Play Gap
Educational Excellence. Whether it is kindergarten, college, or careers, academic pressures urge kids to always be ready…or to even be ahead of the game. This means hours spent studying, working with tutors, and taking on resume-building opportunities.
Extracurriculars have become “extra.” Even when it comes to modern youth extracurriculars, those, too, have undergone a seemingly generational shift of becoming more competitive. Hours of practices, work-outs, and endless tournaments and competitions don’t take the fun away from extracurriculars, but it definitely adds more structure and pressure to the experiences.
Safety Concerns. Raised to have “stranger danger” themselves, modern parents were always taught to be cautious and safe. And in raising their own kids, if they are busy, and off the streets… they probably aren’t getting into trouble!
Increased Time in a Virtual World. When busy kids have time to decompress, they may choose to sit behind a screen for a bit and just scroll. It requires little effort, thought, planning, or energy, but it still gives that little dopamine boost. Instead of riding a bike over to see a friend to hang out, it is much easier for friends to check in virtually.
It must be said: the cause of the play gap is not bad parenting. In a society that equates busy and active with successful (and safe), parents are simply trying to meet the status quo and set their kids up for adulthood. Luckily, as a parent, knowing the causes of the play gap is one of the first steps of fighting its effects.
Effects of the Play Gap
Burn out isn’t just found in adults—children can experience it, too. Anxiety, emotional outbursts, behavioral shifts, withdrawal and fatigue are often observed in over-worked kiddos. Thankfully, reducing obligations, resting and finding time for fun are all adequate remedies to the negative side effects of burn out. Beyond the emotional turmoil caused by a lack of play, kids who don’t have time to be kids may also experience deficits in the development of life skills. Creativity, independence, resilience, and social-emotional skills are important developments gained through play.
-Experiencing boredom and discovering play isn’t taking a break from learning—it is learning. Having a highly structured routine with little room for “nothing,” kids lose out on the opportunity to self-start their own fun with some creativity.
-Following a strict schedule leaves little time for kid-led play. Children who have little control over their own adventures and choices lose out on the opportunity to gain independence.
-Learning how to handle failure and set-backs is play allows for a safe space to do so. Many aspects of play include trial and error, with hiccups from time to time. Pivoting when something goes wrong! Trying again! Play provides a space where kids can fail, try again, and persevere. This sense of resilience can be applied to all parts of life—not everything goes to plan; pick up the pieces, and start again!
-Through play, children also get to practice social-emotional skills like negotiating, handling conflict, and so much more. Of course when the fun kicks in, they also experience decreased anxiety and emotional regulation. Where routines help children feel safe, play pushes them to grow!
Fight Back: PLAY!
Check the busy family schedule and make time for some un-structuring. Whether reducing the amount of activities each week, adding a “do nothing” day or reclaiming downtime that turned into screen time, families can make play a priority.
Play doesn’t have to be an adult-led adventure, and parents don’t have to step in to cure the boredom. Dr. Blady reassures parents that the boredom won’t last long, “If they are not used to this unstructured option, they might claim to be bored at first, but it is in that small period of boredom that creativity begins to peek its head.” and reassures that, “It takes patience and sometimes open-ended questions on our parts: “What might we do with this box? What kind of game might you and your friends play with those materials? Go for it!”.
Reminder: tweens and teens (and adults!) need to play, too. “For older children, watch how they just want to be “little kids” again,” Dr. Blady observes. Based on a child’s interests, play could look like: pick-up, no-pressure sports with friends, game nights including escape rooms, drawing, photography, fashion design, cooking or baking, making music, hiking, and more. Any activity that gives joy and sparks creativity can fit the bill for play. Encourage new hobbies for enjoyment, not assessment, grades, ranks, or trophies! The play gap certainly didn’t appear overnight, and it won’t disappear overnight, either. But every unscheduled afternoon and scheduled boredom session is an invitation to imagine and create. When it comes to play, practice makes perfect…so get out there with the family and have some fun!