The holidays. While only a few days are actual holidays, the phrase really is an all-encompassing timeframe from mid-November all the way through January 1st. They are filled with lots of sugar, less sleep, a dash of stress from managing the calendar and yes, lots of fun, too.
The holidays with kids are really a magical time where grown-ups can lean into being big kids. Parents can add whimsy and magic to the everyday (ex.: snowman pancakes, because why not?!), pack the itinerary with visits to illuminated attractions galore and spoil their little ones with extravagant gifts. But if we, as parents, are honest with ourselves, the holidays pack some challenges for kids, too. A little extra planning can go a long way, though. Read on for some tips and ideas…
INFANTS
Eat, poop, sleep, repeat. If venturing to an out-of-the-house holiday gathering, be sure to pack the house. Joking, sort of. But be sure to at least bring the essentials for feeding, diapers and anything that may help baby sleep away from home (portable sound machines are amazing!)
For itty-bitty babies, parents may be dreading the prospect of every single gathering guest playing “pass-the-baby”. Consider wearing baby or honestly… stand in front of a mirror and practice saying “no” in a variety of ways. One of our favorites is, “I know she is going to poop soon, she has been tooting a ton. I think I will hold onto her for now because she has been catastrophically blowing diapers out recently.” Then continue oversharing with something like, “And then we both had to get in the shower because it. was. everywhere.
If germs are a concern, remember that it is okay to have boundaries and ask people to wash their hands or even keep some hand sanitizer handy—folks can’t object to it if you’ve already stealthily sloshed some hand sani into their palms.
TODDLERS
The Terrible Twos. Threenagers. Deep breaths, you’ve got this. Just reflect back on all of the basic needs covered during infancy… eat, poop, sleep, repeat… now throw in “entertain” and “manage emotions” to the mix.
Eating. Sitting down to a big meal that took forever to cook is such a big to-do. And waiting all day to eat may be fine for adults, but don’t skimp on snacks for toddlers because a hangry toddler is terrifying. Pack some healthy snacks to sprinkle around when your sweetie turns a little snippy. If someone remarks about their eating habits, just remember fed is best.
Pooping (and peeing). All of the excitement could lead younger ones to an accident. Be patient and always have an extra outfit in the car (for all ages! Kids of all ages have a remarkable talent for getting dirty!)
Sleeping. While toddlers may fight a nap when there is socializing to do, parents can enforce some quiet time when they sense overstimulation. A little “recharge corner” with a coloring book, sensory toys and other simple activities may be beneficial.
When it comes to keeping your kiddo in a good mood during travel or at a big gathering, consider a new* toy or game to play with their family.
*This could be a new-to-THEM toy bought from a second hand store or a hand me down they haven’t seen yet
LITTLER KIDS
Once you have survived the holidays with babies and toddlers, doing so with lil’ kids feels like a breeze. Here are some quick tips:
-Keep them in the loop so they know the schedule—a visual calendar is a great idea
-Let them help choose/make a dish or decoration
-If long travel is on the schedule, make sure to get the wiggles out beforehand with an energy-burning activity prior to hopping on a jet or into the family van
-Give them jobs so they can feel important
-Remind them that manners matter
-Let them know if they need a break, they can take one. Pack a book, allow some screen time, etc.
BIGGER KIDS
Instead of worrying about them clinging to you to the point you can’t eat a holiday meal, now you have to worry if they will come out from their room to say “hello” to gathering guests. Ah, yes, tweens and teens do bring about new and unique parenting challenges. But life is all about learning and growing.
Remember how we chatted about boundaries before? Those are helpful with tweens/teens, too. This age group may have a social battery that drains rapidly, but they are family and should be at family gatherings. Choose the important events and set timetables so they know the non-negotiables. “We want you to be really present at this dinner from 4-6 p.m., but you can go as soon as dinner is over.”
If a gathering is an all-day affair, consider letting them build their own downtime with scheduled breaks. “Spend time with your little cousins for like an hour, and if you need a break go take a 20 minute walk, then come back.” Headphones and phone time away from people are valid options for decompressing for a few minutes, too. Hey, don’t roll your eyes at me! I am an adult who needs breaks from people and I love doom-scrolling… why should teens be different? No. Just me? Pack them an adult coloring book or a book. Do what works for your family!
Finally, have an actual conversation with tweens and teens to get their input. No one likes being told where they’re going to go and what they need to wear and even how to act all the time. A lot of being a teen is just that! Ask them if there are any holiday activities they would like to do this year. Let them pick the holiday movie and movie snacks for once. See if they’d like to decorate their room. Have them host a gathering with their friends and help plan it! Teen cookie baking party with holiday song karaoke?! YES! While they may not want to go see the holiday lights with you, know that you can always make new traditions. Teens simply aren’t toddlers, and that’s okay—don’t try to box your kids into being little forever…find joy in the now.
ALL AGES
Be sure to schedule some recovery time in-between big social gatherings. Take time to do nothing. Enjoy your dwellings… grab a snack, a snuggle and savor the quiet moments.
Most of all, they grow up fast. Try to enjoy it! And HAPPY HOLIDAYS!