By Ann Herren, September 2018
Be civil, or move along.
We receive all kinds of responses from readers about our stories. Some are funny, some are angry, some are angry and funny, like the response to the time I railed against the Disney empire and was told in no uncertain terms that I shouldn’t be allowed to have a parenting magazine (I’m looking at you, Debbie).
Some merit giant eye rolls, while others are so sweet they bring tears to your eyes.
But one thing stands true.
We will, at times, publish opinions or thoughts that for some people are controversial. We search for answers that we hope will help parents. We tell stories and share knowledge. I firmly believe there would be nothing to learn if controversy and debate didn’t exist. Sometimes we need to be uncomfortable in order to learn and grow. The difference is when hate and absolutism enter the mix.
Many of you may remember that happened quite publically when we featured a cover story on same-sex parenting in New Orleans. We braced ourselves for those that would disregard the beauty of parents raising kids in a safe, loving environment and choose to focus instead on their own politics. To many, it was a compassionate, relevant article. To others, an outrage.
We did lose some readers and advertisers. But you can be sure that those that stayed with us care about our community. And to this day, we are grateful to them. Because we’ve gained in spades much more than we lost- we gained a Nola family.
So, receiving feedback to columnist and child psychologist Pat Blackwell’s recent column on guns and kids was no surprise. Again, there are those that miss the message of raising kids in a loving, safe environment and focus instead on their politics.
The email came from an anonymous person (unsurprising) telling us how we’re deceptive, cowardly, and yes, evil. The following is my response.
‘It can be expected with our contributed pieces that some may ring true for part of our audience and at other times for others in our audience….I cannot argue or defend the finer points of this piece…. but I will state that the overriding message– of tolerance, teaching children skills needed to achieve a peaceful resolution to their conflicts, and the desire for reducing violence in our country and against our children– is one which I stand strongly behind. I suspect you do, as well.’
I share this because no matter how simpatico you are with your friends, there are matters upon which you will strongly disagree. This we all know too well in today’s world. We are building walls instead of bridges. We will disagree on something; gun control, religion, the Saints defense this year. But I guarantee this; if you’re here, reading this parenting magazine, then we all have one important thing in common– we want to be the best parents that we can be.
In New Orleans, we parent like we live– loudly, enthusiastically, and as a tribe.
I will not hesitate to tell the kid in line in front of me, “Oh no, don’t hit your mama.” And if someone tells my child to simmer down because she’s louder than a basket of puppies, that’s okay. It only means they care. And I have a loud kid.
But we all need to learn to live with each other. The irony in that letter was the fact that the writer showed their hate and intolerance, which was exactly to Pat’s point of teaching children about tolerance and respectful resolutions. Don’t be an angry parent raising an equally angry child.
Be the parent that tells my kid she is too damn loud, and then smiles and winks at her.
